Touchy, Touchy

As I plod through Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion, I find myself mostly agreeing with him. I don't like his condescending attitude nor his writing-style sometimes, but I can't really refute his stance. With that said, I am very interested in the power of the mind. I had the opportunity to go to a reiki healing session this past week. I think I was very open-minded during the session, but I was also very on edge and anxious upon arrival. I only mention this because anxiety, I think, makes me more vulnerable, fragile, and more willing to accept help. The whole experience was sort of a roller coaster of comfort, discomfort, peace, and sadness. I felt that my practitioner was confronting things--energies, I guess--as she encountered them, and then brushed them aside...moving along methodically and dispassionately (which, in general, I appreciate).

It's been said to me since then, "oh, I'm surprised you put yourself through that..seeing as how you don't like much to be touched." (This was my therapist talking) And it's true sometimes. Especially when I'm out in public or at a party or with people who don't know me very well or around people I don't really trust...I don't like to be touched. I want an ample bubble of empty space between myself and everyone, mainly strangers. But I do like touch--especially by trusted people. Even if it's a professional trust, I'm quite happy with that. I had a discussion a little while ago with this same therapist when I was pretty distraught. The question was suddenly posed to me: What would give me comfort? At the time I was at a loss for an answer--but I think I did feel comforted at the reiki session. Another person taking lots of time to sort of stand guard over me--on my behalf--sweeping dust and dirt away, calmly awaiting, expecting, my rejuvenation.